I know that deep in my heart I don't want to make snide remarks about people, or let a curse word slip, but sometimes it's just a habitual reaction. I mean, C'mon! I lived for 10 years on the road with 20 guys who could say a complete sentence, using nothing but the "F" word, and you knew exactly what they were talking about.
So here's my question. At what point does it cease to be a habitual problem and become a heart problem. And if you use the excuse of "Well it's just habit"... does that really mean that you're not that concerned with growing past your old self?
This was a huge deal for me. I won't lie... sometimes when I get really mad, I still slip up and say something that I would not say if Jesus were standing right beside me. But I can honestly say that I don't just flippantly use bad language out of habit. I try not to revert back to that when I have conversations with some of those old road guys.
What I have realized is that, as a Christ follower, I must ask God to burden my heart to want to change the way I talk, so that I don't give Him a black eye, by popping off and saying something that any nonbeliever would say, and then someone ask me.... Hey, don't you go to church all the time? Aren't you some kind of music minister or something? And then they laugh, as if associating myself with those things is a big joke. Because to them... they see nothing different about me.
I want to challenge all of us, to begin to really watch ourselves and how we talk. And not just around non-believers, but especially around each other.
Here's what James has to say. Check it out and give me your thoughts. You can also read the entire book of James and comment, if you want. It's not that long. I think.... 5 chapters.
Great post Robbie. Funny you should mention it because I've really started to examine what/how/where I say things these days. I am trying so hard to learn to be a good listener instead of a good talker. I have found that its only habit when I let it be. Trust me I have had some really bad habits over my lifetime and I'm currently trying to break one as we speak (no not cussing lol). In my experience I have found that if I ask God to direct my thinking and my voice I usually will be ok. If I don't ask him for help I will revert back to old thinking and habits. Maybe we could all start asking God in our morning prayers to direct our thinking and voices for that day. See what happens!!!
ReplyDeleteThis is a great one for me. My issue is not "necessarily" my language but my temper. Most of the time I can handle the situation internally and usually either way I don't say much until I am alone or with Leann (sorry she gets the brunt of my frustrations.) I have to ask God to help me let things go or I will lose my mind. Little stuff sets me over the edge and I become a very angry person. Over the past few months I have been asking God to help me deal with my frustrations outwardly and inwardly so I don't go over the deep end and say something that will put me or the people I represent in a bad light.
ReplyDeleteGrowing up with my single father, both the language and short tempers that I experienced were very different than what, I feel, I would've experienced growing up with a female. Working in a factory directly out of college, opened my ears to the language and temper issues even further. The thing that is more apparent to me now more than ever, is how many more females cuss these days. I think a lot of it is habit, as Robbie said, but it seems that even more than that anymore, people use that language, because it makes them think that they will be heard more loudly and clearly. When in all actuality, it completely takes away from what the person is trying to say. It's sad that cussing has become more the norm than the exception. I have tried so consciously to be more of a solution than part of the problem, and will remember the scripture every time I feel I could stray.
ReplyDeleteThis reminds me of a quote,"Christians who acknowledge Jesus with their lips and walk out the door and deny him by their lifestyle...this is what an unbelieving world simply finds unbelievable." James is right, this is more of a heart issue, it just may not always be our heart. We may be the only "Jesus" some of the people we encounter will ever see or hear, and if our words reflect something other than a Christ-follower, we have left a lasting impression on them that we can't always undo. What we say does create a perception in other's hearts and minds, so we have to take this seriously.
ReplyDeleteI also think we sometimes set our convictions aside around certain people, whether for acceptance or habit, by not asking them to be considerate and refrain from using certain language around us. Then when we get mad, the things we hear from others seep into our minds as the first thing to say when we get mad. A perfect example, one of my high school teachers used to say "BEANS!" when he got mad, and it still sticks with me to this day. BE BOLD, ask even old friends to respect your convictions and be sensative to their language around you, it may just help both of you out.
When I think about any topic my first thoughts are What does the Bible say about this and what does God say. As far as what the bible says regarding using "bad" words in particualar... there isn't much that I know of. Don't use God's name in vain, and I am sure it says curssing someone is wrong somewhere in there; But I think it comes down to our hearts. The bible does say love your neigbor as yourself.
ReplyDeleteI am one who tends to think words only have the power that we give them. In some nations, like Australia, words that aren't offensive to us are to them (and vice versa). So when I was there I wanted to control my tongue wich proved quite difficult, because I no longer was able to say words like fanny or randy.
I tend to have a lot of grace on others who use bad language because I choose not to let it offend me; however I want to honor those around me who may feel differently.
Hope that makes sense. Just processing on paper.
We all can relate to this scriptures just from life's experiences. The word tells us wicked conduct does not achieve God's righteous purpose. So we must rid filth from our lives or we deceive ourselves. Love the part about the mirror. As I read comments these words just stood out. Molly, the tongue, exposure, being heard. Robbie, remarks about people. Jason, anger, representation. Philip, impression on others. Jessica, what does God say? Patrick, pray for direction. I received a word just from the comments.
ReplyDeleteThe one thing I am trying to do is to follow in the ways that Christ taught us in every thing we say and do DAILY. Every action and word is a true reflection of our Christianity. Those that are around you are listening and watching everything you say and do. I try to speak and act carefully these days as I attempt to direct my ways towards the way Christ taught us.
ReplyDeleteGood stuff guys. I'm really glad to hear all of your hearts on this. I picked this scripture because I feel that, if we are to truly make strides in our spiritual growth, we must first start with how we talk and act. Let's keep the conversation going.
ReplyDeleteBeing in bands and stuff growing up, I sang alot of songs with all kinds of colorful words and phrases. My generation I think doesn't view these words as "bad" anymore. Its in are music, movies, its everywhere.
ReplyDeleteWhen I came to christ something inside my changed. Those same songs I would scream at the top of my lungs, I found myself turning them off.
Gods grace is awesome though, I still slip up though, and for the most part when i'm around others who swear, i dont feel werid or anything.I'm working hard at it though, cause the first time elli says a bad word, i might have a heart attack.
This really hits home for me. I let things build up and then blow the lid and sometimes it's messy. I'm trying to work on being more patient, more silent and less harmful with my words. Molly's comment made me think about my biological father (not my dad that you guys know). Growing up he yelled at my sister and I constantly and I guess you could say he was verbally abusive. Sometimes I find myself prone to that temper and find things coming out of my mouth that I certainly do not mean. I need to work on this. Good thoughts, people. Good scripture.
ReplyDeleteI know for me, I struggle with just shutting up and listening. James says be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry. In my life I have constantly demonstrated the exact opposite of these words. I rarely give others time to speak, because whatever I have to say is so much more important(sarcasm dripping). I also get angry and say things I shouldn't say. Even though I may not cuss, my words can be even more hurtful. I love how James just says it straight up, listen, shut up, and don't freak out! Even though I read it, it's not hard to understand, but it's hard to live out. Just goes to show how much of an imperfect human I am, and how there's a lot of room for improvement! I love hearing everbody's thoughts and wisdom on this!
ReplyDeleteAhh, everyone...... that just came out of a 16 year olds mouth! Nice Hannah. Words we can all take to heart and make a part of our life. I do the same thing Hannah. Good thoughts. Joey... when Ellie says her first bad word, first you'll gasp in horror, then you'll get really embarrassed because it's your child (and hopefully it won't be at a restaurant full of people). Then, you'll cover your face as you tell her not to ever say that again. (because you'll be laughing hysterically at how a little person like that can pick up anything and then just shoot it back out!) Sarah, I too have a temper. It's hard to keep in in check, but you can. Just lean on God. And remember, there's always someone to talk about it with.
ReplyDeleteGreat thoughts guys. I'm very proud of everyone's participation.
For me it's a struggle of my heart and my sturggle to be a good example to my kids. I never used to think much about yelling at someone on the interstate or in a parking place until I heard Cade do it when he was about 3...spirit check BIG TIME. Hearing something like that come out of your child's mouth knowing that the only place he could have learned was from you really really really checks your heart. And it wasnt ever really a cuss word..it may have been a comment on my personal opinion of the other's person's driving skills..LOL Still when you hear what has come out of you repeated it breaks your heart not to mention God's. Im getting alot better about not being so quick to pop off my mouth one to be a better example of one of God's children and second to be a better example to my children. Do they still hear me voice my opinion sometimes..OH YEAH cause Im far far from perfect, but I at least try to apologize to them and God when my mouth gets the best of me.
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